Politics.

I don't like discussing politics with anyone but my husband. He approaches it in such an intelligent calm way. We never argue, even when we disagree. He can make good arguments for both sides. It helps me understand the two majorities and helps me look at all the issues. I wish more people could handle politics the way my husband does. I guess though he's just like that with most things...

This weekend I learned that in an ideal world I would want socialism to take place, not capitalism. But we don't live in an ideal world. So I want to find a balance... There really isn't a balance so we lean towards capitalism. Which I'm okay with. I also learned that while I do not agree with the murder of babies, I might be pro-choice. I'm still sorting through things...

I believe in equal rights. But I'm still struggling with gay marriage. I do not want to impose my beliefs on anyone. Yet, what next if this ever gets overturned? I think I support it. But I'm not sure.

500 Days of Summer

I love Zooey Deschanel so much. She's so beautiful and her voice... Ah! Amazing. I also thing that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is beautiful. I've loved him since Angels in the Outfield. This movie looks perfect and is going to make summer so much better.



In honor of Zooey here's a She & Him video. So grateful her and M. Ward decided to create wonderful music.

Moving.

I am really tired and there is a lot of packing that needs to be done.

I really thought I wanted to stay here in Southern California but I don't. I am ready to leave.

The next 24 days can't go by fast enough!



Here's a video by one of my top 10 bands: Rilo Kiley. I'm in love with Jenny Lewis and I hope that when I'm 33 I look half as good and cool as her. I also love Blake Sennet, the other band leader. They're amazing together and their solo stuff is equally good.

So proud!

Kevin Scholl Photography.

So one of my friends, Kevin had his art exhibit, Man's Life, open last week at Biola. I've been to a lot of art openings and his was by far, one of the best I've ever been to. That's probably why he might be able to have his own exhibit at an art gallery. Eek! Here are my favorites that he did:)

So proud.

Summer List.

This is my original summer list:)! And this is the updated version for Megan's Live List!

• Train rides.
• Beach trips with floppy hats
• Finding new music that changes my outlook on life
• Volunteering
  
• Dancing
• Polariods of favorite things
  
• Picnics in different places
• Face Painting
• Sewing curtains and seat cushions
• Lemonade stands & bake sales
  
• Slumber parties in the living room
• Teaching Riley sign language
• Hiking & visiting forests!
• Being barefoot as much as possible
  
• Cake baking!
• Finding a cave
• Dates with Leif
  
• Dying my hair with henna
  
• Movie marathons
• Laying in a field of flowers... Somewhere.
  
• Aquarium trip!
• Buy a fish
  
• BBQ party
• Celebrate my birthday in style, 22years is a big deal
• Take Leif to the Zoo since he loves it so
• Work on my Belle & Sebastian photoshoot
• Get some more lessons in photography
  
• Go to different Farmers Markets
  
• Learn to live more healthy and organically
• Also, I want to be on this website: LOOKBOOK.nu
  

I'll probably keep adding to this list but for the mean time this is what I have!

Music!

Stars is recording in the studio again! You have no idea how happy I am right now.
They changed my life the first time I listened to them... And my life has only gotten better each time I listen to them. One of the best dates I ever had was when Leif surprised me and took me to see them. It was like seeing Ben Gibbard but different. Both were experiences I remember so clearly: With him I stood there unable to move amazed at every word he sang, in awe of every movement he made. With Stars, I stood up and danced by myself and sang every word. That is love and beauty. That was perfection at its finest.

That is what music should do to a person. Transform you.

*Plus I got to listen to the new Wilco album today... I liked it.

Lovely Photos!

Please check out this photostream: Perfection.
And a tribute to Amelie:)! If we have another girl we're naming her Amelie.
These are the kind of photos I wish I could take. Ugh why must polaroid be so dumb.


I have been inspired.

letter writing

I owe some of you letters.
I'm thinking of waiting until I move to write them though.
I've been organizing and beginning to pack.

Pray for me. I've been crying a lot.
This is a big step I'm about to take.
I welcome adventures, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared.

I'm counting down the days until we move.
I'm ready.
But I'm not.

I've decided that I will start packing tonight.
Leif and I have been apartment hunting and house hunting. Why is it I could own a house in Oregon but not here in California? Ridiculous.

I really want to be in Oregon. I love the lifestyle and I love the idea of being closer to this lady:



I mean who wouldn't want to gallivant around Seattle with her? You know I'll be spending weekends up there with her and other good friends. I asked her to sing the Train Song cause its a beautiful song, and she recorded this for me right before work. Um, I know I've encouraged people to read her blog, but really, do it! Here. And from there check out her other 7 websites that feature her music and art and loveliness.

Brilliant

Duston Todd Photography

I follow this blog, A Cup of Jo, that helps open my eyes to all things beautiful and creative and lovely. And that is how I found Duston Todd. He had just taken these adorable engagement photos that I found very creative and refreshing. I can't say I like ALL his photos, but I fell in love with a good amount of them. I wish he could take photos of Leif and I. I feel like we would have a lot of fun and laugh a lot. Sadly though he's in Utah. Blech. Haha.

But check out his website and his blog! So fun!

Feathers & Summertime.

I love feathers. I wish I wore them more. I think I'll buy these feather clips from Urban to put in Riley's hair. I love her hair. I love her curls. I like my curls too. I hope all my children have curls.

I think this summer will be good. No matter where Leif and I end up it'll be an adventure. Hopefully I'll take lots of pictures, mostly polaroids. Instant is better. :) I'm looking forward to Riley being even more active during the summer. Crawling and using her hands to talk to me. I plan on many trips to the beach, wearing big hats, face painting, lemonade stands & bake sales with Maddy if I live in Oregon this summer, wearing no shoes, lots of yoga, dancing with Riley, cooking more, cake baking, sewing curtains and seat cushions, hiking and visiting forests. . So much so much to do!

If I live in Oregon I'll have a garden! If my mother in law will let me.
Honestly I want to end up in Oregon because I want to live as simple as possible. I want to get away from "lots of things" for awhile. I want to live with very little. I want to be humbled daily.
And I want to buy this headpiece

Updated Summer List

To be a good wife.

Before I was a mother I was a wife. And although I'm a mother now I am still a wife. That is my first priority. Some people put their children first, then their husbands, I put my husband first, then my child.

When I say that it doesn't mean I neglect my child to take care of Leif. No, not at all. But this does mean that my husband does not get ignored nor pushed to the back burner. The one that gets pushed to the back would be me, totally fine. This is not the point of the post though, wither my husband is first or not. The point of this is to explain what being a good wife is, to me.

Now, I want to be the best wife I can be to my husband. When I think of a good wife I think of Provers 31, I think of my mother, I think of women within my church, I think of Leif's mother, I think of my sister in law, and so forth. I think of a woman who is willing to serve, not just willing but with a cheerful heart, with excitment. Serve her Father and her husband. I think of a woman who submits when submission is called for, and with a cheerful heart. I think of a woman who prays constantly for her husband and for her marriage. I think of a woman who puts the time and effort into the marriage because a marriage cannot survive without God, or the effort. Love is helpful but not the only thing that can make a marriage work.

Being a good wife to me means pursuing God with all that I am and giving myself to Him completely before giving myself to my husband. Since I've really begun to live like this, my attitude towards Leif and my role as a wife has changed. For the last month Leif has woken up to breakfast and come home to dinner. Those are things that make him happy. I've been praying with Leif more and trying to encourage him whenever I can. I remind him that I love him and I really make an effort to spend time with just Leif. I've been more patient and understanding. I've been biting my tongue and not talking back when is not needed. I've been attempting to listen more and talk less :) I struggle with that. And I really struggle with having an attitude and God has been thankfully helping me with that.

Leif thanked me the other day and it meant a lot that he had noticed the change. That's encouraging for me. He's such a good husband to me, he deserves so much more. Some days are easier and others are harder. I'm loving the way our marriage has changed and the way God has blessed us. I've always grown closer to God because of this pursuing I've been doing it and its wonderful. He's such a wonderful Father!

Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl

I love this song but I don't really appreciate this video. I usually like BSS's videos... Oh well.

Choices.

I called my mom yesterday crying because we got bad news from Leif's job. She told me I had a choice. I could sit and mope or I could decide to let God handle this. I wanted to mope. But she prayed for Leif and I and I changed my mind... I wanted to let God be in control. He's so much better at it than I am.

I woke up with so much peace today. I can't even explain. Yesterday I was consumed by fear and worry, today, its all gone. I know God is good. I also know He is faithful and will take care of us.

Amen.

We can handle this.

"God never gives us more than we can handle". Someone told me that tonight. So grateful they did.

I have a peace I didn't have earlier today. God is giving me strength and helping me support my husband because he needs all the support he can get right now.

I feel as if God has been preparing me for this time in our lives.

Decisions.

I just got an email from Warner Brothers asking me if I was still interested in the internship. I'm not sure what to do now. This pregnancy is so unexpected. I didn't think I was that fertile. Maybe getting pregnant twice on the pill last year should have been a sign?

I'm very confused by everything that is happening and I'm trying to rest in the fact that God has a plan for me. I just don't see it and wish I could. I don't understand and that worries me. I'm also struggling with the fact that I don't think I'm prepared enough or strong enough to be a mommy-of-two. The pregnancy test is just sitting here staring up at me, reminding me that my life just changed in a big way.

I'm afraid.
&I'm almost bummed in a way. I hate feeling like that, but its true. I'm praying that my feelings begin to change. That I will feel as excited and happy, as I did with Riley. Maybe when things have settled and set in. All the way. Its still hitting me.

Pray for me.

God is so good.

God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good.
He's so good to me.

We used to sing that when I was in preschool at Church. I still sing it because while its simple its so true and a wonderful reminder.

Be blessed.

I am Fasting.

I enjoy fasting. It always brings me closer to God and makes my walk with Him so much better.

I do it whenever something begins to take the place of God in my life. When things become idols. I remember when I had to fast from music because it consumed my life the way God was suppose to. Then tv. Then movies. Now my computer and the internet. I've never really fasted from the internet... I've felt like I should for awhile now but I keep finding reasons not to.

I have decided that I need to just do it. I used to live without the internet so why can't I now? It has become an addiction and I don't like that. Its hindering me from pursuing God the way I want to. He has been doing so much in my life that I will share about when I'm done fasting.

I'm not giving myself a time limit. I'm going to do this for however long I need to. God is doing so much in me right now and I'm so willing to do whatever He wants me to do.

I am excited to go back to a simpler way of living. Someone made a comment to me about how that's what I'm all about: doing things in a simple way and keeping things simple. I find the most beauty in the simple parts of life. I'm so excited and ready to learn. This will also force me to call people and write letter. Yes!

Keep me in your prayers please:) God is so good. My fast starts tomorrow!

Eek.

I had a job interview yesterday. At Warner Brothers. In the music sales department. I was so excited. I would love to pursue a career in music. I really would like to work for a non-profit planning music and art benefits... I feel like this would help open up some doors for that to be possible. Because I've decided to throw myself back out there and pursue some dreams, having other children has been put on hold. I never thought I would want to put having more kids on hold, but ever since I started praying about working again I feel its the right thing to do. I'm excited about it.

I'm also going back to school this summer and hiring my sister to watch Riley a few times a week. It works out well for both of us. She needs a job, and I need to be in school. I'm looking forward to everything this summer will bring!

I'm praying that this will work out, but I really only want this to work out if its in God's plan for me. Say a prayer for me today:)

Another early morning.

Although I've been losing sleep, I've been enjoying my early mornings by myself. Its like a break from life for me. I get to sit and pray, sit and think, sit and pray some more. Mostly pray though. I spend a lot of my time praying. I think its important. I believe in prayer. Its a way for me to speak with my Father openly and honestly. I try to do it through out my day. Its a good reminder that God is always with me, even when I'm changing dirty diapers.

My prayers lately have mostly consisted of me thanking God. I'm in constant amazement of His grace and love. I've also been asking that God gives me patience. Not just with Him and waiting on Him, but with even the little things. Like being patient with Leif. I lose my temper with him a lot. I get impatient with cooking, with cleaning, with driving, with wii... If it doesn't work right away the way I would like then I get upset and frustrated. The same goes for whenever I don't get an answer from God. While I was pregnant I spent many a day on my knees begging God literally to show me what He wanted for me. I never really got an answer. I'm still waiting. I've simply been told that I need to expect great things but to wait. sfdkljsdf;oijkldfgljdfgljdo

Irritating.
I think I see a little progress though. And the praying helps me remain patient. So does reading the word. Which I should do when I finish this.

Finished.