Saturday, November 15, 2008
Green Beans and Little Things
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
My first challenge for a month: Finding the blessings in everyday. Thanking God for those and dwelling on His goodness.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I do know though that I can't wait to meet my little girl.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I already think that my daughter is the most beautiful person in the world.
I already love her more than anything.
I already think she's the most perfect thing I've ever seen.
Leif and I made her! How did we make something so wonderful?
God is amazing. We wouldn't have been able to do this without Him.
This whole pregnancy has brought me closer to Him.
Everyday it becomes more real that I'm going to be a mother... Soon I'm going to be raising a child.
I don't want to fail.
I'm anxious, scared, nervous, excited.
I want her to be here right now, but at the same time I want her to take her time.
I can't wait until I hold her for the first time.
I really can't wait until Leif holds her for the first time.
Monday, September 08, 2008
So two weeks ago we had a family dinner. It was a lot of fun Everyone brought something to share. Leif and I made Chicken Parmesan, while Sarah, Jerelyn and Curtis brought noodles and veggies. Skyler, Kelsey, Jaclyn and Julie all brought dessert. It was great having everyone cooking in the kitchen and contributing. After dinner we sat around outside drinking wine and smoking a bit. (Well I didn't of course...) Then we all ventured out on a walk. I would say the night was really good and everyone enjoyed themselves:)
Monday, September 01, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
And I couldn't be happier. I miss my friends so much. I can't wait until everyone is back in one place. I'm not too sure how I spent this summer, not really how I planned, but it was good. It wasn't amazing like pasts summers, but it didn't suck either. I wish I could have read a lot more. Or did some art projects. I wish I could have used my longboard. Or at least gone to Venice a few times. Instead I spent a lot of time literally on the floor. With my face down. I've never been so tried or frustrated in my life. I've never been this upset and angry with God. Its weird though because usually when I get to a place like this I want to give up... but I didn't really want to. I want to ride this out. I want to see where God brings me. I would appreciate the answers now though.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I'm not sure I could do that, but theres something beautiful and pure about what they've decided to do. Last year I visited a Buddhist temple a few times and fell in love. It was so moving to see people enter into the temple with such reverence and respect. The kind I wish I had when I entered a church, a place to worship God. They took it so seriously. They truly believed in Buddha and what he could do for them. It made me stop and wonder why I didn't act like they did when I was at church. I talked to a few Buddhist and their outlook on life was so positive. It hurt because I wanted that but after researching more about the roots of Buddhism it doesn't make sense. But at the same time it does.
Its a very giving, loving, kind religion. It always intrigues me.This is a writers account of what happened when his wife and him tried what the Buddhist did: Here.
Monday, June 16, 2008
This is going to be a lonely summer. Everyone is heading out, or has headed out. I'm bummed.
I think everyone is going to come back having helped changed the world. And I will have just gained a million pounds.
I think I'm also bummed because I'm reminded how I was suppose to be doing my internship this summer. I'm jealous of everyone that doesn't have obligations back here. I just want to be out there, doing things with my hands, contributing to others. I think though, that I'm more excited for everyone else then sorry for myself...cause its not like having a baby is something tragic. Its actually something pretty amazing. So I guess at the same time I'm really grateful for what God's given me.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Beauty. I desire it so bad. It's painful how bad I want it. My idea of beauty is a life filled with books, writing, art, music...intellect...Things that truly touch the soul. I'm aching for this kind of beauty. I once wrote a letter, a lovely letter at that. It was the best letter I have ever written. It was pages and pages, quotes and songs, Psalms...It was all about striving for beauty. My favorite quote was "In the woods is perpetual youth" from Emerson's Nature. I wish I could have that letter back.
We have these minds that are such a gift, and all these opportunities to learn more. There is so much I want to learn, so much I want to know. I brought a million books to school to read them and re read them. I want to get through my Shakespeare book, which is probably one of the best gifts I have ever received. I love my book on grammar, but want to study it more. I want to go back to the Buddhist temple and just sit and watch the people praying. I like the peace I felt when I was there. I don't understand why I don't have that peace within a church.
I want to go back to the way I was. I don't want to get too comfortable where I am right now.