I'm tired of being sick. I didn't realize morning sickness was so draining and terrible. I have morning sickness because I'm pregnant. Again. This is my 4th pregnancy. In a year and a half. My body is tired and its been awhile since my hormones were at normal levels.

I'm scared and worried, but I'm trying with all the strength I have left to rely on God.

I'm also worried about what will happen with school. Its hard to earn a art degree online:) God knows though. He does.

I'm also slacking on my summer list. Thankfully I have some good tips to fight this sickness and wonderful people joining me for the next three weeks. I'll be able to check some things off!

Wise with money.

I dislike being wise with my money, but I do it anyways. Its nice to know that it will pay off in a few years, but it really sucks right now. So many things I want to buy, things for my house, a new car, fancy kitchen items and lots of cookbooks, plants for my yard, new camera equipment, more fish for dinner, haha!

I cannot bring myself to buy anything over $20 if I'm buying for me. My parents gave me a good amount of money for my birthday and my mom said: "Please spend this on yourself". But I can't do it. Instead I'm putting most of it towards my credit cards, and saving the rest.

I have a goal to be debt free, by the time I'm 25. The way things are going I should be debt free sooner than that if I keep up. Sometimes though I want to get off track. I want to stop paying more than the minimum, and just pay the minimum. I want to take all the extra money we get and buy something nice... Like a fancy mixer or a new car.

Then I remember that having no debt with a little stuff, is a lot better than having lots of stuff, with lots of debt. I'm grateful for a husband that is very wise with money and that is helping me stay on track. I know I'll be grateful when we buy our first car and our first house. I already am grateful that God gives us money to pay our bills and to pay a little more on our credit cards each month. I'm grateful we're able to eat and buy gas. I'm grateful that when we have needs, those are more than met. Although I want more sometimes, God gives me all that I need and never does He give me any less.

He gives me so much more in other ways.

Thoughts on God and the church.

I was thinking about God and His unconditional mercy and love. I was thinking about how He sent His only Son to die for us... He knew that some wouldn't care, someone would deny this free gift, yet He still did it.

I was thinking about how when Jesus came He told everyone to follow two commandments: Love your God, and love your neighbor. This doesn't mean the other 8 don't count, you see, by following those two, you will follow the other 8. (Matthew 22:36-40)

I was thinking about loving God and how I want to obey Him, honor Him, serve Him. Because I love Him. Those things should come easily, not that they are easy. Then I thought about loving others, and I realized that by doing this I will respect them, I won't want to covet things that are theres, nor would I want to steal from them:)

I thought about how so many times in religions they have rituals and rules. Rules and rituals. But Christianity isn't about the rituals, nor is it about the rules. Its about the relationship. I used to roll my eyes at that, but it comes down to our personal relationship with Jesus and our Father.
We were created to be in relationship with God, and instead of forcing us, He has given us the choice.

(I could go into predestination but I won't because its complicated)

What a loving Father to give us a choice. To let us decide if we will follow and serve Him. He loves us so much that He has left this up to us.

And when we do decide to enter into relationship with Him, then He asks us to simply love Him and others.

People assume that Christianity means no smoking, no drinking, no swearing, no dancing... That there are many rules tied in. But those are things the church has attached to Christianity. I'm not saying its okay, but if you struggle with those things, you are still allowed to know God and be part of the Church. I love that everyone is welcome and there is no criteria you need to meet. When God sent Jesus, He sent Him to the Jews and the Gentiles. We are the Gentiles, we got crafted in. Because Jesus was sent for everyone. (John 3:17)

Everyone is welcome in the Church. I'm trying to remember this.