Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl

I love this song but I don't really appreciate this video. I usually like BSS's videos... Oh well.

Choices.

I called my mom yesterday crying because we got bad news from Leif's job. She told me I had a choice. I could sit and mope or I could decide to let God handle this. I wanted to mope. But she prayed for Leif and I and I changed my mind... I wanted to let God be in control. He's so much better at it than I am.

I woke up with so much peace today. I can't even explain. Yesterday I was consumed by fear and worry, today, its all gone. I know God is good. I also know He is faithful and will take care of us.

Amen.

We can handle this.

"God never gives us more than we can handle". Someone told me that tonight. So grateful they did.

I have a peace I didn't have earlier today. God is giving me strength and helping me support my husband because he needs all the support he can get right now.

I feel as if God has been preparing me for this time in our lives.

Decisions.

I just got an email from Warner Brothers asking me if I was still interested in the internship. I'm not sure what to do now. This pregnancy is so unexpected. I didn't think I was that fertile. Maybe getting pregnant twice on the pill last year should have been a sign?

I'm very confused by everything that is happening and I'm trying to rest in the fact that God has a plan for me. I just don't see it and wish I could. I don't understand and that worries me. I'm also struggling with the fact that I don't think I'm prepared enough or strong enough to be a mommy-of-two. The pregnancy test is just sitting here staring up at me, reminding me that my life just changed in a big way.

I'm afraid.
&I'm almost bummed in a way. I hate feeling like that, but its true. I'm praying that my feelings begin to change. That I will feel as excited and happy, as I did with Riley. Maybe when things have settled and set in. All the way. Its still hitting me.

Pray for me.

God is so good.

God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good.
He's so good to me.

We used to sing that when I was in preschool at Church. I still sing it because while its simple its so true and a wonderful reminder.

Be blessed.

I am Fasting.

I enjoy fasting. It always brings me closer to God and makes my walk with Him so much better.

I do it whenever something begins to take the place of God in my life. When things become idols. I remember when I had to fast from music because it consumed my life the way God was suppose to. Then tv. Then movies. Now my computer and the internet. I've never really fasted from the internet... I've felt like I should for awhile now but I keep finding reasons not to.

I have decided that I need to just do it. I used to live without the internet so why can't I now? It has become an addiction and I don't like that. Its hindering me from pursuing God the way I want to. He has been doing so much in my life that I will share about when I'm done fasting.

I'm not giving myself a time limit. I'm going to do this for however long I need to. God is doing so much in me right now and I'm so willing to do whatever He wants me to do.

I am excited to go back to a simpler way of living. Someone made a comment to me about how that's what I'm all about: doing things in a simple way and keeping things simple. I find the most beauty in the simple parts of life. I'm so excited and ready to learn. This will also force me to call people and write letter. Yes!

Keep me in your prayers please:) God is so good. My fast starts tomorrow!

Eek.

I had a job interview yesterday. At Warner Brothers. In the music sales department. I was so excited. I would love to pursue a career in music. I really would like to work for a non-profit planning music and art benefits... I feel like this would help open up some doors for that to be possible. Because I've decided to throw myself back out there and pursue some dreams, having other children has been put on hold. I never thought I would want to put having more kids on hold, but ever since I started praying about working again I feel its the right thing to do. I'm excited about it.

I'm also going back to school this summer and hiring my sister to watch Riley a few times a week. It works out well for both of us. She needs a job, and I need to be in school. I'm looking forward to everything this summer will bring!

I'm praying that this will work out, but I really only want this to work out if its in God's plan for me. Say a prayer for me today:)