I just got an email from Warner Brothers asking me if I was still interested in the internship. I'm not sure what to do now. This pregnancy is so unexpected. I didn't think I was that fertile. Maybe getting pregnant twice on the pill last year should have been a sign?
I'm very confused by everything that is happening and I'm trying to rest in the fact that God has a plan for me. I just don't see it and wish I could. I don't understand and that worries me. I'm also struggling with the fact that I don't think I'm prepared enough or strong enough to be a mommy-of-two. The pregnancy test is just sitting here staring up at me, reminding me that my life just changed in a big way.
I'm afraid.
&I'm almost bummed in a way. I hate feeling like that, but its true. I'm praying that my feelings begin to change. That I will feel as excited and happy, as I did with Riley. Maybe when things have settled and set in. All the way. Its still hitting me.
Pray for me.
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"The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood"
7 comments:
Margaret, its totally okay for you to feel that way. Its very understandable. Honestly, I wasn't happy or excited when I got pregnant. I told people I was, but it scared the crap out of me. We're also extremely fertile so I never thought I'd get preggo first try. I cried a lot the first tri and didn't get excited until I was about 4 months along. Now that Lucy is here I don't even think about how I felt then. I had no clue what was ahead of us and no idea how challenging it is to be a young mother.
As hard as it is, try not to think so much right now :) God will give you answers and reasons when you need them!
OK, those last two deleted comments were me, I'm lame, and I can't type. There where typos in my second amendment post. So I just started over...
Having two babies close together has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. They are best friends. They'll love each other in a way that is so special, because they will have shared almost every part of their life. Maybe this is for Riley, just like it is for you. Maybe that's what the Lord wanted to send her. Who really knows.
Don't be scared. God is there with you through any and everything. He'll help you to be ready.
Margaret, this is just my opinion - I don't know whether it's right or wrong, I think only you will know the answer to that.
But, I would let Warner Bro's know that you are pregnant, but still interested in the internship if they are willing to let you have it. Then, I would take it. You have 9 months to grow a baby, and live out a passion of yours. The worst that can happen, you decide that the internship isn't up your alley and you need to go be home with your daughter and prepare for this new life.
Life is never cut and dry, but the beauty is nothing is every permanent (except kids), and you never know. Maybe God will close the door with Warner Bros and that will be your answer. Sometimes taking risks in faith, is part of watching Gods plan unfold before you. I'm praying for you, and know, without a doubt, that you are going to be an excellent mother!!!
I am praying for you girl. Unexpected events can take us for a loop. I pray for peace and God's guidance on what to do and when to do it. much love
big big prayers for you.
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