The older I get, the more comfortable with myself I become.

The more comfortable with myself I become, the more I appreciate the way I was made.





Best cover of Morrissey's First of the Gang to Die. I love this song so much. And I also love Morrissey. Loved him in the Smiths and love him as a solo artist.

Going back.

I'm going back to simple living. Back to barefeet and long skirts. Back to playing pretend and dressing up. Back to books and music and philosophy. Back to nature and beauty that comes from God's artwork.

Why is it so easy to get caught up with things that don't matter?

God, You are so good.

So blessed.

I'm so blessed. I get reminded of this when I'm actually able to get a hold of my best friend in South Carolina and we get to pick up where we left off. I'm reminded of this when my husband comes home from work to eat with me instead of his new friends at lunctime. I'm reminded of this when my sweet little baby is teething at night but smiles when mommy tucks her back in. I'm reminded of this when people call me to set up a time to come visit us here in Monterey.

I woke up so excited, despite rocking Riley to sleep early in the morning. I love those moments so I didn't mind. I also got to wake up to lovely text messages from favorite friends.

God, you are always so good

Mourning.

I've been mourning for the baby I lost. Its hard because I don't have anyone to talk to about it. When it happened my mom tried to talk with me about it but I wasn't ready. Leif has a hard time talking to me about it because he didn't want me to ever go through it. I love him very much. This isn't something I want to discuss on the phone, especially since I get really awkward on the phone. I'd just be super uncomfortable.

I know that it happened for a reason and that God knows. Its just a difficult thing to go through. I knew it would happen eventually, its normal for a woman to have a miscarriage. But I wasn't prepared and I don't think you can be. It hurts when you don't see your baby anymore when you go into the doctor. It hurts when people around you are getting pregnant and get to hear their babies heartbeats. I know that when its time, we'll have another baby. I don't doubt that at all.

I've also learned that amidst death God is still God. And it reminds me that death cannot hold Him. He can take even a situation like this and turn it into good.

Photo blog.

I started a blog for my photos Les photos et leurs Histoires

flickr isn't enough for me to be able to talk about my photos, and such.

I think this will be helpful for me.

Start following followers.

Just because.

Read about how we like Monterey so far at the family blog: greenbeansandlittlethings.blogspot.com

Inspired.

I've been so inspired lately.
By antique china and pleated skirts. By Long Beach and recycled boxes. By oranges and oils.

I'm beginning to feel renewed and refreshed.
I also have been inspired by new friendships.

I want to see this live.

Also, we're behind on packing. Hopefully when Riley goes down for her nap I'll be able to catch us up:)

Answered prayers.

After a year of waiting on the Lord to tell me which direction to head... He has answered me. I'm so excited.

I've written about how I've been struggling with homosexuality and understanding it. Well God told me to stop worrying about it and to simply tell those that are homosexuals or struggling, that He loves them. Very much. I was reminded of the scene in Milk where Sean Penn's character tells this boy who wants to kill himself that God loves him. It doesn't matter what his sexual orientation is, God still has love and grace for him.

This doesn't mean I'm supporting homosexuality and saying that God is now okay with it. No, the bible is very clear on the matter, but its also clear about God's love. It has no bounds. And my love shouldn't either. I feel called to do some type of ministry. I'm in the process of researching and just praying a lot. Please keep me in your prayers!

So everyone is getting pregnant now.
I just feel a bit sad about it.

I cannot sleep.

On Tuesday Leif sent me this link to someones memorial page on facebook. At first I didn't recognize who it was, but then I realized. While I wasn't close with this person it still hurt me. We had talked before, even hung out. We didn't get along always but I still enjoyed her. I had no idea how she died, and tonight I happened to check her memorial page and there was this link. I watched it and cried. I sat here sobbing. I'm really upset and so confused. It hurts me and I can't even begin to imagine how it might hurt her family and friends. This isn't fair, but life isn't fair is it?

I struggle greatly in my faith when it comes to death. I know it must happen but I always think when people are 80, not 24. God, why?

New favorite!

Ruche is my new favorite store. Its similar to Anthropologie but not as pricey. I'm so happy!